If you want to bring change 2 mind – your own – or someone else’s, and you read my article on Mind Development Hypnosis and NLP, you understand that:
That is why sometimes the older we get, the more set we can become in our ways. But it doesn’t have to be that way. We can learn to be more open and flexible. You CAN bring change 2 mind.
Bring Change 2 Mind
Let’s say you have a disagreement with a friend. If you both stay stuck in your own differing points of view, you are likely to continue to disagree.
Obviously if you could change places with that person -- like the story of the Prince and the Pauper -- if you could both experience that situation from each other's point of view – you would probably see the situation differently. You may still not completely agree about EVERYTHING but having that new insight would likely create understanding. It would likely help you both move through the disagreement and continue to get along. Wouldn't it?
Even if the best both of you could do, is to change places with a neutral observer who wasn't involved -- but who watched the situation unfold -- it would shift things. In many instances, that shift into neutral is enough to bring change 2 mind that creates a more peaceful result.
Sometimes it is hard to see things from someone else’s point of view. Some people are so emotionally inflexible that they find it almost impossible.
But it is like doing yoga: if you practice, stretch yourself, eventually you loosen up and become more flexible. More balanced.
In hatha yoga the benefit is a healthier, stronger or youthful body.
Practicing perceptual positions gives you mental and emotional flexibility. The rewards are a healthier, stronger mind and a happier, more harmonious balanced life.
Working with perceptual positions is a valuable skill taught in the field of NLP. It is the skill of accessing more points of view than your own in an experientially rich and organized way.
There are generally three points of view: self, observer and “other.”
In helping hundreds of people let go of resentment and forgive someone, I have found that adding a fourth position is extremely helpful. In fact I use that fourth position in the "forgive" exercise in my Emotional Freedom audio
1. SELF POSITION - is when you experience situations through your own body, seeing though your eyes, hearing through your own ears and feeling your feelings. If you want to motivate yourself, for example, and feel excitement, enthusiasm, joy, etc., you need to be in “SELF” position.
2. OTHER POSITION -To have empathy and understanding of another’s point of view, it is helpful to access the OTHER position. Meaning you mentally “step into ANOTHER PERSON(S) shoes” and view the situation from their point of view, experiencing it as if you were them – with their history, perceptions, needs, and desires.
Cleanly accessing the OTHER position gives you valuable perspective -- just as if you were seeing through their eyes, hearing through their ears, feeling what they felt. Often this process alone creates better understanding and makes empathy and forgiveness much easier.
3. OBSERVER POSITION -- The OBSERVER position gives you access to a neutral, disassociated point of view. This position is very helpful in a number of the processes you will learn. For example, one technique we will explore allows you to process and erase negative emotional charges of trauma WITHOUT HAVING TO RELIVE THE EVENT through processes that utilize the observer position.
All positions have value. And just like with anything else, if overused or used inappropriately, can create problems.
Having the flexibility to move into different positions-- at will-- gives you the freedom and control to create profound changes in thinking.
It can bring change 2 mind and behavior immediately.
Try this Mind power technique to see how emotionally flexible you are.
1. Think of a situation that involved another person that you perceive with SOME discomfort. One that you WANT to feel better about.
The first time you do this, work something no higher than a 5 on the pain-- pleasure scale. As you build your emotional flexibility you can use this exercise to feel better about more painful situations. But start easy. Then build.
2. Rate your feelings about that situation on a 0-10 scale. 10 being most painful. 0 being totally neutral.
3. Write down a description of the situation and include your feelings.
3. Relive that situation in your mind. Be there, feel yourself in it and write down your feelings.
4. Clear your mind and then imagine being a neutral observer seeing that situation play out from across the room. In other words, step out, zoom away and be detached as if you are watching the scene from a distance.
5. Write down your experience of the Observer Position.
6. Now imagine that you could step into the "other person's shoes." Imagine what it would be like to be them. This time as you replay the scene you see it from THEIR experience. Seeing through that person's eyes, feeling through that person's skin, hearing through their ears'.
7. Write down your experience of Other Position: (Imagine being the other person, see it from their perspective)
8. Clear your mind for a second then think about the situation again. Did it bring change 2 mind? Rate it again on the 0-10 scale.
The more your rating shifted toward neutral, the more emotional flexibility you have.
The more you use the exercise, the better you will get at it -- and the happier you will be.