Many people have reached out to me for advice on how to forgive someone since writing the article about what happened when I came face-to-face with the man who attacked and assaulted me a few months back.
Coincidentally, over the years I've published many articles with specific strategies on how to forgive someone right on this site. They all start with the same first step: Deciding that you WANT to forgive and let go.
I know that that is not always easy. but it is essential for your happiness in life.
Today I was interviewed by the founders of the Marriage Restoration Project, Shlomo and Rivka Slatkin, on the topic of letting go of emotional baggage in relationships.We talk about getting to that first step of forgiveness here:
Think about it: You can NOT possibly be happy and resentful at the same time. Pick one!
1. If you can't go all the way, loosen your grip.
Most people dig themselves into a
position by needing to be “right.” If you are not ready to let go and you
choose to remain resentful for now, that is okay. Forgive yourself for
your humanity, then open yourself up to
the possibility of choosing again by affirming that you indeed want to "let go" of the grievance.
In other words, choose consciously and when your choice in not in line with your greater good, do your best to loosen your grip a bit and say something like: "I really want to let go of this grievance and release myself from these negative feelings. Perhaps I'm not ready at this moment but I am growing each and every day. I pray that I am able to let this go. I want to let this go and I will let this go."
2. Changing perceptual positions in your mind is very useful exercise
for loosening your grip on a position. If you imagine a situation from different points of view, experiencing it from an observer position -- and, depending on the situation -- the person who hurt you, it helps you to see a situation in a more balanced way. It also helps you get honest with yourself about you own role in the circumstance which is helpful to personal development.
3. Practice makes perfect. The more you practice forgiveness, the easier it gets.
4. SELF–acceptance and self-forgiveness plays a huge role in forgiving others. Healing deep wounds of unworthiness and unconscious guilt makes everything easier. That is because a lot of our outward "suffering" is a projection of what is happening inside.
Forgiveness is possible for each one of us, we are all capable of it and most importantly, deserve it.
To order Mandy's Forgiveness and Self Appreciation Audio Program You can do that here