Self Esteem Self Help:
Finding the Real You

Written by Emotional Freedom Coach, Lourdes O’Byrne

This work on self esteem self help evolves from the premise that an aspect of us knows very well who we are and that which would make us feel whole.

As I’ve said to many a client – “What else is there to do, really? 

It may sound overly simplistic but after many years of helping people struggle with all types of issues, and of course many hours of therapy dealing with my own – It becomes clearer to me that many of the issues that arise in our lives stem from the inability to support and validate who we really are.

 I say this not as a conclusive statement of who one is, but more so as a fundamental state of knowing who you are.  We can always change, shift, modify any aspect of ourselves, but we must have a sense of being able to support and accept ourselves on a very basic level. Once our core foundation is supported, transforming and shifting becomes easier!

If you want to try a self esteem self help exercise, try this very basic first step to imagine what it would be like to support yourself unconditionally.  I know that for some of you this will feel like a completely foreign experience so be gentle and playful as you do this.

Self Esteem Self Help Exercise

  1. Imagine yourself at a young age between 3-10 years of age. Allow your memory to choose a younger version of you and try and capture the details of where you are and what you’re wearing. 
  2. Visualize present day you in front of this younger self. 
  3. Imagine that you can transmit a feeling of unconditional love or acceptance to your child self.
  4. Use words that would be comforting or supportive to your younger self, ie “I love you, just as you are”, “You are beautiful”, “You are enough”, You are awesome”, “I support your dreams”.  Try to use words or statements that feel natural to your adult and child self.  Let your younger self know that you want to support him/her fully, that you will not neglect them.  
  5. Become aware of any feelings that arise from this level of unconditional support and allow yourself to indulge in this moment.
  6. When you feel complete close this moment with an affectionate gesture, i.e. an embrace or some type of contact that would feel comforting for both of you.
  7. Come out of the exercise slowly. Remember the idea is to begin to be with yourself in a gentler, more accepting, non-judgmental way.
  8. Take a moment when you’re done to journal your experience as a way to further set your intention to continue doing this self esteem self help work.

I hope this is the beginning of many beginnings as you come home to the aspect of you that holds the key to what your life purpose could truly be.
May your journey home be filled with peace, love and excitement.

Note from Mandy:

"This is a very powerful exercise...and even more so when done in a state of self hypnosis." In my Forgiveness and Self Acceptance Audio program offered on this site, track three guides you through a similar hypnosis process. You will love it.

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